3:36 AM
writing from Dorothy's office in her new house. She told me to feel free to check my email or whathaveyou, that it wouldn't disturb her. So, as usual, I've awakened in the middle of the night after dozing off unexpectedly and here I am.
It was a great day, as always when I am with the X Posse/Mafia, as I've call Dorothy's friends and family, as well as John and other friends of mine who all happen to live in the same city (herein known as "X," because I'm creative like that).
First of all, Dorothy showed up at our usual rendezvous point with who I thought was her husband, but turned out to be her twin brother. I saw the shaved head and glasses and immediately thought it was the spousal unit, which confused me as he was out of town, thus our slumber party.
I just really like her family and they like me, so it's a nice break from my own. It's really refreshing to be around people who don't take you for granted and treat you like crap. I know every family has issues, I used to joke with Eric that we should trade moms because we didn't have the baggage with each other's mothers that we had with our own and thus could enjoy the good momming parts. In Wake Up, I'm Fat! there's a chapter called "Your Parents Know How to Push Your Buttons Because, Well, They Sewed Them On." That's a universal truth, I am sure.
No matter how hard you try, it's difficult to overcome those years of programming. It's why one should not live with one's mother at age 29, no matter what you contribute, it is still "My house, my rules" with rules being continuously developed and no ex post facto law. It's a fascist regime and you'll never repay them to their satisfaction.
OK, maybe that is just my parents. They both gave up a lot to have me, particularly my mother, and I was never allowed to forget it for a moment. Of course, I don't think either ever realized that I wish as much as they did that they'd not been stuck with me so young, either. Whatever issues one cannot avoid having with one's parents, everyone should at least feel wanted and loved, not like they are The Mistake That Ruined Our Lives. You know, sometimes it would be nice to just be a child and not a mistake.
But I digress...first there were the few minutes at the meeting place with Dorothy's twin brother (D and I were roommates, but they were wombmates) who is just the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. I like to think it's just me, but I swear his face just lit up to see me.
My, but that feels nice. I don't get a lot of that anymore, unfortunately, as familiarity has breed contempt with my own brother. Now I'm an authority figure of some sort, instead of just the fun sister who lives in interesting places. Or, as he referred to me when I first arrived from New York, "my sister who used to work for Jive Records."
The wonderful and gracious twin had to work, so we said our goodbyes and it was on to see the house.
. . .
Somehow I resisted taking pictures, but it's just as well without having the software and cable here to download them anyway. Perhaps I'll take some in the morning. I'm not sure if Dorothy will want that or not, as the place is a work in progress; the previous tenants trashed the place. It's actually in much better shape than I expected, however and has tons of potential besides.
First of all, it is so very roomy. I only wish I could afford such a place in a city I wouldn't mind living in. Second, it's laid out well -- the rooms are in a logical sequence, which doesn't seem the norm for many modern houses and apartments. Besides the living room there are two bedrooms and a dining room. The front bedroom has a nice big closet with cabinets overhead which is just good planning.
The backyard is huge as well. It has a garage, a driveway and this really cool covered area. I could just see all of us out there, having a party/BBQ, there are even lights along the ceiling and several electrical outlets. On one end is a wall with an elevated area that's perfect for an herb garden. Wouldn't that be something, to just go outside and pick your own herbs? I've always wanted that (someday I'll settle down somewhere) and it seems to be Dorothy's plan as well.
On the other side from the herb garden to be is an L-shaped cinderblock bench. Right now it has a plant and a small BBQ grill on it, but Dorothy wants to get seat cushions (that was my first thought, too, as it's at butt level) for all those outdoor parties to be. Now that they are in their own place and can do as they like, she'd like to get a real BBQ, maybe gas, though she has the option of electric, with at least two twin outlets back there. I can really see all of us back there with some tunes playing. It's going to be great. Indeed, after just a week, it's already got a really homey feel.
. . .
After the grand tour, Dorothy and I watched The Princess Bride DVD and ate some cookies. I brought along the last of the famous Tim Tams, as the Tim Tam Slam is a special experience I would not share with just anyone. I also had the cookies I never got around to taking to my neighbors, but put those away when it turned out Dorothy also had two boxes of fancy, imported cookies and a box of the Neiman Marcus cookies she and Bob made the week after our cookie marathon. They were a bit dry from being almost a month old, but crunchy and perfect for dipping in the coffee left over from the Tim Tam slamming session.
As for the movie, I've finally seen it all the way through, mostly. I've seen it dozens of times in bits and pieces and was pretty sure I'd seen almost all of it. I was right, but I'd missed most of the last 20 minutes as well as the first 10 or so. It's a movie that it seems is dear to the heart of most everyone my age; I hear it quoted so often and I've been missing many of the references. I don't remember Cary Elwes ever looking so hot in anything else.
. . .
Next came a pop in from Dorothy's sisters, Donna and Victoria, who live nearby. What a difference it was to suddenly have four little kids in the house. They are all delightful and generally good natured, so it was loads of fun.
While everyone else took the grand tour, I watched Victoria's youngest, who was born the day before Dorothy got married. She's so tiny and perfect. Mostly I tickled her feet, talked gibberish excitedly and pedalled her soft little legs. I didn't get to check her for the delightful baby smell, as I am still sick and didn't want to make her any sicker than she already was. Yes, we were a delightful, coughing, sneezy, snotty bunch.
[Dorothy just woke up and said hello. She tried to wake me up to go to bed, but I am a very heavy sleeper. I heard her talk to us a few times, but couldn't convince my body or voice to work and kept nodding off.]
With all the excitement of babies and toddlers, I missed a bit of The Princess Bride, though I think I caught most of that on the second viewing, which I seemed to catch at where I left off after they left. Of course, we could've just stopped the DVD and started where we wanted to again, but we just got into the babies and didn't think of it at the time.
Seeing all of them reminds me that I do indeed want to have children someday, when the time is right and I am ready to make such a long term commitment. I told Victoria that it occured to me the other day that it is now impossible for me to have a child before I turn 30 next August. It's not that I wanted to, in fact I'm quite happy I can say that. I promised myself I'd wait for the right time and do my best to avoid any surprises. I've had a few scares, but mostly sort of a wishful curiousity on my part.
. . .
Well, in case you thought that was enough of the X Posse, you are sadly mistaken for along came Dorothy's old friends S&S. I almost always see them together and so they are a pair in my mind. They were part of a very wonderful initiation for me, so they have a pleasant little niche in my heart.
One of the Ss started to feel out of sorts, perhaps coming down with this bug we all seem to be battling for so long, so she left early, as we were watching Help. We finished that movie, marvelled at its cheesiness and followed it up with The Ruttles, during which I nodded on and off until Dorothy gave up on us completely.
Mostly, it was nice to be somewhere that I felt welcome, was allowed to relaxed and be sick for the day. I helped her move a few pieces of furniture and boxes around, but Dorothy encouraged me to stretch out, bundle up, relax and otherwise take care of myself. Who doesn't love being babied when they're sick?
My mother tried to discourage me from coming here, since I have to be better by Monday when she goes back to work. The thing is, that was never going to happen in that house, getting yelled at all day for being lazy when I just needed a day or two to rest at the start of this thing. Instead, I'm cooking fucking Christmas dinner and then getting nagged for not cleaning up afterward. Frankly, I don't know how I'm spending 10 or 12 hours a day sending out resumes, when all I want to do is sleep. I've got to do something, however, to get back to my own life.
The thing about being so isolated is that I'm back to buying into that world, just as I came to feel I was stupid, incompetant, unemployable, lazy and an all-around bad employee (or, would at least be perceived that way by any potential employer) when I was at Zomba. People don't thrive and do their best under those conditions. They do the least they can and spitefully at that. While I haven't given up the dream of working for myself, I've finally detoxed to the point where I don't expect my next employer to be psychologically abusive, unappreciative of my contributions or otherwise shitty.
. . .
There's more about Dorothy's wonderful sisters and friends here, here, and here.
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