I am ...
 
 

 

Reading
I'm The One That I Want by Margaret Cho. I was so disappointed that I couldn't make the book fair at UCLA last weekend with my friend Tracey, so she thought to buy the book for me. I missed the one-woman show when I lived in New York, but Tracey and I went to see the film last fall in Santa Monica. If you want to know how much my friends rock, Tracey even had it autographed:

Erica
Good luck in New York!
-Margaret Cho

. . .

I'm also still reading Simple Indulgence: Easy, Everyday Things to Do for Me by Janet Eastman. I'm such a dork, I keep reading the quotes and ideas, but not doing the journalling portion.

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"..." "Someday we'll find it
the rainbow connection
the lovers, the dreamers and me
alllll of us under it's spell."

-Kermit THE Frog

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Listening
Stuck in my head:
"Boogie-oogie-oogie get down."

Thank you, Disco Stu! (My favorite Simpsons sight gag-cum-character.)

 


I heard Britney Spears' "Bottom of My Broken Heart" while making a selection from the feminine hygeine aisle at Wal Mart and exclaimed, "Fucking Britney Spears...Gah!"

That's one of the videos I had to watch about a million times to select snippets for the web site and the enhanced CD single. Ever hearing it again is too much, too soon.

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Watching
The Simpsons, The Sopranos & Armistead Maupin's Further Tales of the City. I didn't even realize there were making another one, I just happened to see it listed. I'm going to have to finish the book series now, as I think I've only read through the fourth book and this mini-series is based on the third book.
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Webbing

While you're visiting the Gallery of Regrettable Food, don't miss Meat!. This one in particular made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. "Sometimes meat likes to dress up and feel pretty." Swanson Parade of Lost Identity -- women who, in probably their only 15 minutes of fame, were for the most part known only as Mrs. HisLastName.

. . .

Co-Author of The Rules to divorce! So you can't manipulate a man into marrying and staying married to you? Perhaps you have to come into it as two individuals and show who you really are from the beginning? I guess this means that no amount of growing your hair long, pretending not to be smart or funny, and "training" a man will make for a happy marriage.

. . .

Ever wonder where that dollar bill's been? Mine was in Chicago two months ago.

. . .

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Dreamin' is free

Another Elvis dream (I'm doing the Memphis section of my color scrapbook now, but I haven't got to Graceland yet), this one cannibalistic.

What started out as an autopsy to discover THE TRUTH, turned into Elvis Stew. It was rich and beefy. Ewwwwwwwww!

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Thinking
Why is it that the same personality quirks are taken as crazy and stalky by some, while loveably wacky by others? Is there some litmus test for this, so I stop wasting my time?
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What's cookin? now I'm blogging what I'm eating, whoa.
Still literate as of 9/29/2000 12:20:01 AM
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This sucks! just what I needed...another dorkblog.
Jeepers, creepers, I last used my peepers on 9/29/2000 12:24:59 AM
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This rules! My trip photographs, they're better than expected. Now to get them all organized, it's only been a year!

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Thursday, July 27, 2000

12:51 AM
I am...proud to say I live in Riverside County, Methamphetamine Capital of the World! Ironically, my parents moved here in 1984, when I was 13, to get me away from the gangs and drugs of L.A. County. The first time I was ever offered drugs was indeed at a party the summer after 7th grade, when I was still attending Wilmington Junior High. A cute high school boy named Frank and I flirted throughout the party and, when we locked ourselves in the bathroom for privacy, he offered to share a joint with me. I said "no thanks" (damnit!) and he said "that's cool," and that was that.

However, the first time there was consistent peer pressure to use drugs was in Riverside. I guess there wasn't much else to do here for junior high kids. Luckily, I discovered obsessing over Duran Duran and, most especially, battling my best friend Kristi for who was his biggest fan. Our other best friend Kathy, meanwhile, inexplicably liked Andy Taylor. Ugh. That came to a head when the Power Station toured the next summer and I invited John Taylor to my birthday party. Someone called claiming to be his manager and said John would come. We were beside ourselves all week. When that day finally came, we ran out front everytime we heard the limo that kept circling through the neighborhood and waved frantically. I still secretly harbor the belief that it was not a hoax.
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Riverside is currently home to another racially-charged wrongful death lawsuit. Thank goddess the police shot her 12 times (plus the 12 shots that missed, they could learn alot from New York's finest), it would've been a shame if she'd committed suicide. There's a reason they call it the Inland Empire...it's evil!


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2:15 AM
I am...sure I'm worth more than this ad, found in the Press-Enterprise:

ADMIN ASSISTANT Must be proficient in Word, Excel & Mail Merge for S.B. co. Will answer 4 lines & do gen. office duties. prof\'l demeanor & attitude a must. To $1//hr DOE.

Wonder how much experience they require for that?


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Wednesday, July 26, 2000

4:55 AM
I am...surprised I managed to make it through an entire day without posting. I don't know why there's been so much time between posts...32 whole hours!

I've spent a lot of time thinking and writing about my intentions with regard to Bleed, for one thing. For another, I've stumbled upon not one, but two of my arch foes and their respective web sites. I won't post them here, because neither deserves the traffic. Weird when people you don't think of much and don't think much of are just suddenly there out of the blue. Oddest of all is that one of my regular readers is familiar with an associate of one of Those Who Shall Remain Nameless. Small world, smaller web.
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Through the magic of technology, Dorothy's oldest sister in Ireland can see fresh pictures of her nieces via my site. That's damn cool.
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With Pete...OK, so I look high here...must be the dimplesFor some reason Pete, and his great dimples have just popped into my head. You could just dive into them, they are so deep and perfect. I don't really think it's fair that he gets to be so wonderful, smart, aware and cute all at once. I mean, the woman he ends up with will have hit the motherload and better be pretty hot shit herself.


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Monday, July 24, 2000

1:50 AM
I am...not impressed with hypocrites.


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2:32 AM
I am...incredulous that I completely forgot to say John's site is up now. Where is my brain these days?


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2:33 AM
I am...Like the president, I have mood hair...Pink=happyso sorry I missed the documentary on the Schappell (conjoined twin) sisters tonight. These are the ones I saw in New York in February.

It's funny, but that particular journal entry is one I keep coming back to for so many reasons -- my pink hair (my shrink said it was "rebellious," I just thought it was pretty), dealing with my dad's death, trying to figure out where to file his abusive side, doing my best to eradicate that side of my birthright, trying to find ways to express my creativity (Polaroids, even) and my love affair with New York, which I privately knew would soon be over.purple glowing snow

I am still in love with the purpler-by-the-day snow picture. I set out to take a quicky shot of some yellow snow, but found something beautiful instead.


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2:44 AM
I am...amazed that someone so fundamentally afraid of the Internet uses it for every hair-brained scheme that flits across their mental radar. "The Internet sucks, everyone on it is a lonely, dysfunctional loser, but log on (in the parlance of the clueless) to my site, http://www.doasisaynotasido.com right now!"


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8:25 PM
I am...addicted to barbeque. I had it in every city on my cross-country trip. The great thing is that I can cook it up in one day and just make salads, veggies and side dishes the rest of the week. Also, the house doesn't get all heated up. Goddess bless Weber.



...



CharlotteMore pictures from Dorothy's baby shower. I was awaiting permission from her sister Victoria to use pictures of Dorothy and Donna that included Victoria's daughters. Here is her oldest, Charlotte, holding court. What a cutie!



Dorothy and Donna with their niece Grace
Dorothy and Donna with their niece Grace.

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8:33 PM
I am...Dorothywith niece Charlotte and her mom VictoriaVictoria is pregnant with lovely baby #3 and due on Dorothy's wedding day! We're all wishing good birth mojo so that works itself out.


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Sunday, July 23, 2000

1:48 AM
I am...
hot, exhausted and dehydrated from a day outside of the air-conditioned bliss of our house. Went to Dorothy's bridal shower and then on to John's house, because they were in the same city.

The shower was fun. I can't think of ever having gone to a bridal shower before, so I guess I don't have anything to compare it to. I even won a shower contest, I never win anything. It's especially ironic because I thought as we were doing it (it was a quiz about who knows the most about the bride and groom), "damn, I talk too much, I need to shut the hell up and get to know Dorothy better." I missed five of the 20 questions, several of my correct answers were pure guesses, but I answered the 5 point bonus question correctly (another guess). I won a cute sunflower mug filled with Jelly Bellies. The funny part was that I was just on the Jelly Belly site last night and thinking I couldn't remember the last time I had a buttered popcorn or roasted marshmallow Jelly Belly and thought I might order one.



Dorothy with a nightyDorothy with one of the nighties she received.
Donna, Dorothy's wackiest sibling. She refers to me as her adopted sister. One year I went to several family holiday dinners and became an honorary sister. Donna
the cakeThe cake says "Showers of Good Wishes"
This is my new, uh used, long-term borrowed guitar. The only thing I asked for in return for registering/designing John's site was either advice on what to look for in an inexpensive guitar OR, if on the off chance John had an extra guitar that he could part with -- I thought it would open up the doors of creativity. Turns out he had this beauty. It's a big part of Dramarama history. He wrote the first four albums on it. Here's hoping that illustrious song-writing history will bring me luck.My new guitar
James at workJames at work...thrown in for good measure.

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Note to several of my relatives (and you don't know who you are, because you're in denial)-- I'm never going to be thin, I'm never going to fit this society's extraordinarally narrow definition of what's beautiful, I'm never going to have long or straight or blond hair. None of this precludes my self worth, sexual desire or worthiness of love.

I've learned to accept myself, I wish the fuck you would. Life is far too short to get nothing but negative messages from the people who should love and accept me more than everyone else in the world. I'm sorry that's not the case, but I'm not, in case you haven't noticed, putting my life on hold until it happens. So please, spare me your negative bullshit, because, luckily, I have friends who have shown me more about love and acceptance than you can apparently comprehend. Your loss.

I just had to get that off my chest. Today, being around people who love, accept and praise me made the contrast with my so-called family all the more obvious. I know I have a tendancy to be over-sensitive (no!), but it's nice to be around people who aren't always looking for faults, who I can just relax and be myself with. I'm tired of living this double life, in which even the censored version of me is more than my family can stand.
[/existential rant]


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2:45 AM
I am...not sure why the alignment, font size and font color is all fucked up, but I don't really care much, because I'm watching psychedelic Elvis movies.


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2:50 AM
I am...embarrassed to say that all I got Mr Easdale from my cross-country trip was a couple of Graceland bags (he'd lost his and it was the one thing he said he wanted), a duck-decorated twizzle stick from the Peabody Hotel in Memphis, a Graceland box with Graceland tissue paper, Elvis matches, a Sun studios button and an Elvis guitar pick. I saved the Sun guitar pick for good luck as I learn to play guitar.

That reminds me, I bought a buttload of guitar picks at Haight Street Music Center with James. Where the hell did I put them?


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3:40 AM
I am...so relieved that my brother did not ask John what it was like to be in Duran Duran! He's only 10 and gets all my "retro" bands confused, particularly since both names started with a "D" and had a John in the group.


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3:11 PM
I am...a straight shooter. I'm not hip with the Machiavellian machinations of looking good while doing bad. I'm more concerned with what my heart/mind/gut tell me is right. That gets me into a lot of trouble. Still, I'd rather be honest, about even the not-so-pretty aspects of my Self, than to be a phony who implodes under the strain of their false facade.


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10:06 PM
I am...chatting with one of my regular readers. It's just so cool and amazing to me that I have one.
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I strummed a bit today, but not a lot.


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