I am...a New Yorker

[Previous entry: "A Friend of L"]

Sunday, September 22, 2002
Yes, But No

What-ever it is
I think I see
Becomes a
Tootsie roll to me!

I have no idea why.

Amelie, which is just far too romantic for me at the moment, but I love it nonetheless. It makes me want to move to Paris.

?Dude, he had crazy eyes! Did you see that cab driver?s eyes??


?He had psycho-crazy eyes!?

The U.S. Department of Education telling me to put down the collection agency of one of my loans as the Loan Holder/Servicer. It made sense at the time, since they own the loan now and the school couldn?t even tell me the amounts.

The Dep?t of Ed not telling me two months later that this was incorrect, although they have my mailing address, email address, home and cell numbers - I only discovered this because I called them. Instead, they sent me a blank application. Now, since I began the consolidation process in June, they?ve sent several of these for no reason at all, so I didn?t think much of it.

When I asked for supplement forms to add loans that the original agency forgot to include, it took so long to receive them, I downloaded them instead. So when I received one at the end of August, I just figured it was the one I?d asked for in mid-July.

Instead, I was supposed to understand that this meant that the wrong Loan Holder was listed on the supplemental application. Despite having 10+ loans, 4 of which I was in the process of adding, I was supposed to intuit which loan this application was for, on top of everything. So, instead of finding out that the loans were paid off and added to the consolidation when I checked that first week of September, I discovered for the first time that the application was rejected.

Yes, I am an idiot to have been born poor and to continue to have low earning potential. But I am at least competent. Thank goodness they give you 180 days to add loans to the consolidation.

Several phone calls from a friend who is stoned, dude!

A bit of red at Our Name is Mud.

Oh yeah, that too. I painted a 4x4 tile, which I will attach to a wooden box to hold some treasures and a 2x2 magnet.

I am...tough, yet terribly delicate. Fang always says that's the thing about me -- yes, but no.

We got to talking about that on my birthday. I was upset by the no-shows...those very people would be upset if I didn't show up for their birthday, yet they thought I wouldn't mind at all.

I only started to realize the truth in this in recent years, hearing people's ideas of who I am. And please, no emails about not caring what others think...it's not that, I just find it fascinating that people have these very pronounced and contradictory ideas of who I am.

To one, I am intimidating, to the next, someone to be abused...wise, foolish...kind, evil...erudite, ignorant...thoughtful, thoughtless...outgoing, shy...icy, passionate...sensitive, insensitive...brilliant, stupid.

Often, I refer to the six blind men and the elephant. On the one hand, I'm complex, yet I'm very simple. You see?

In the hospital, Rafe said he didn't know I cared. I thought I was more transparent than that, but he's not the only one who claimed they had no idea. (Here's a hint...if I kiss you, the odds are good, though not 100%).

Others have thought I'm in love with them when I really just want to be friends (or can't stand them at all). So there you have it -- I'm a tough nut to crack. But I really want to be opened to reveal the sweet meat inside.

. . .

Choc Lobster!

The chocolate lobster from my coworker's trip to Maine. I stirred it into my coffee on Friday. Mmmmmmm...melted chocolate.

Homer goes bowling

One of my desk toys...Homer goes bowling. It winds up and the ball drags him around in circles.

. . .

I'm not sure when exactly I wandered through the Flatiron disctrict, perhaps last week. I like the buildings there...they are more distinctive than those in midtown and downtown. Also, since they are not as tall, it's easier to appreciate the architecture.

Flatiron Building

The Flatiron builiding. Corner buildings always remind me of the Madame C.J. Walker building in Indianapolis.

Flatiron Building, street level

The Flatiron building at the street level. I curse the Sprint store on the first floor!

Flatiron Building, a moment later

The Flatiron building, a moment later.

NY Life building

The New York Life building.

New York Life building


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