I am ...
 
 

 

Reading
I'm The One That I Want by Margaret Cho. I was so disappointed that I couldn't make the book fair at UCLA last weekend with my friend Tracey, so she thought to buy the book for me. I missed the one-woman show when I lived in New York, but Tracey and I went to see the film last fall in Santa Monica. If you want to know how much my friends rock, Tracey even had it autographed:

Erica
Good luck in New York!
-Margaret Cho

. . .

I'm also still reading Simple Indulgence: Easy, Everyday Things to Do for Me by Janet Eastman. I'm such a dork, I keep reading the quotes and ideas, but not doing the journalling portion.

__________
"..." "Someday we'll find it
the rainbow connection
the lovers, the dreamers and me
alllll of us under it's spell."

-Kermit THE Frog

__________
Listening
Stuck in my head:
"Boogie-oogie-oogie get down."

Thank you, Disco Stu! (My favorite Simpsons sight gag-cum-character.)

 


I heard Britney Spears' "Bottom of My Broken Heart" while making a selection from the feminine hygeine aisle at Wal Mart and exclaimed, "Fucking Britney Spears...Gah!"

That's one of the videos I had to watch about a million times to select snippets for the web site and the enhanced CD single. Ever hearing it again is too much, too soon.

__________
Watching
The Simpsons, The Sopranos & Armistead Maupin's Further Tales of the City. I didn't even realize there were making another one, I just happened to see it listed. I'm going to have to finish the book series now, as I think I've only read through the fourth book and this mini-series is based on the third book.
__________
Webbing

While you're visiting the Gallery of Regrettable Food, don't miss Meat!. This one in particular made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. "Sometimes meat likes to dress up and feel pretty." Swanson Parade of Lost Identity -- women who, in probably their only 15 minutes of fame, were for the most part known only as Mrs. HisLastName.

. . .

Co-Author of The Rules to divorce! So you can't manipulate a man into marrying and staying married to you? Perhaps you have to come into it as two individuals and show who you really are from the beginning? I guess this means that no amount of growing your hair long, pretending not to be smart or funny, and "training" a man will make for a happy marriage.

. . .

Ever wonder where that dollar bill's been? Mine was in Chicago two months ago.

. . .

__________
Dreamin' is free

Another Elvis dream (I'm doing the Memphis section of my color scrapbook now, but I haven't got to Graceland yet), this one cannibalistic.

What started out as an autopsy to discover THE TRUTH, turned into Elvis Stew. It was rich and beefy. Ewwwwwwwww!

__________
Thinking
Why is it that the same personality quirks are taken as crazy and stalky by some, while loveably wacky by others? Is there some litmus test for this, so I stop wasting my time?
__________
What's cookin? now I'm blogging what I'm eating, whoa.
Still literate as of 9/29/2000 12:20:01 AM
__________
This sucks! just what I needed...another dorkblog.
Jeepers, creepers, I last used my peepers on 9/29/2000 12:24:59 AM
__________
This rules! My trip photographs, they're better than expected. Now to get them all organized, it's only been a year!

Powered by BLOGGER

 

 

Friday, September 29, 2000

3:36 PM
I am...not a native of Stupidelphia, but I seem to visit quite often. Sometimes my mind just leaves me. I've always taken great pride in my intelligence and ingenuity, but I don't want to be so smart that I forget to put my pants on before I leave the house, like Einstein.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

3:52 PM
I am...watching Eve Ensler on Oprah. Ya'll know how much I love Eve Ensler, right? (As a complete aside, she's Dylan McDermott's step-mom and one of the monlogues is about the birth of his daughter. She remarked before writing it that it was strange that none of the monologues was about birth and a man asked her "What's the connection?" *guffaw*)

I saw the Vagina Monologues early this year and it was amazing. She was really great talking to people after the show. After half a dozen women hogged up her time for 20 minutes, I was overcome by shyness. I slipped her a note thanking her for opening this dialogue and for inspiring Bleed

The day's topic (on Oprah is violence against women around the world, which is the cause to which Ensler donates proceeds from the show. This organization documents and fights violence against women in Afghanistan.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

4:05 PM
I am...so stoked to see that The Vagina Monologues is coming to Los Angeles...woohoo!

Think inside the box.
I love it!

[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

Thursday, September 28, 2000

12:37 PM
I am...home super-early from school. Here I stressed myself out about the double quiz in my beginning computers class and it was pretty easy. I'm not sure why the test for Chapter 2 was moved up a week, but because it covered Chapters 1 & 2 there were 50 questions. Regular quizes will be for just one chapter and have half as many questions. I finished in about 15 minutes and I was going slowly, as I tend to fill in the wrong bubble on Scantron type tests.

I cannot believe that she let us leave class after the quiz. Maybe it will take some people longer, but I can't imagine spending more than an hour on it, since it is a fill in the bubble type quiz, as opposed to an essay exam. The class is two hours, that's plenty of time for an hour lecture before or after the quiz. I guess I just assumed she'd want to lecture. As I turned in my test form and questions, I asked if we were done or if we needed to come back. She said, "Nope, that's it. Easy day, huh?" It was all I could do not to holler "Wooooohoooooo!" I'm going to thoroughly look forward to quiz days, since I need a break now and again.

I don't know if the actual tests will be more difficult, but that quiz was awfully easy. I always thought this particular class was much more difficult, maybe because the book is five million pages and the lab book is five million and 1. Thank goodness I don't have to do the labs for that class at school, my theme song would be "Living With a Hernia."

Perhaps this course will grow more diffiult over time. If not, if it's completely reviw for me, then I guess I'll just relax and focus on my lab assignments for my other classes. I've been stressing about that a bit now and then, as it's hard for me to get access to PageMaker in particular.

PageMaker isn't installed in most of the labs (in fact, it's only installed in one lab and that's only available to me for 2 hours on 2 days that I can get to that campus) on the campus near to me and when I go to the satellite campus, I just have time to attend my classes. It is, however, installed in all of my classes on the satellite campus. Instead of sitting there bored because I understand how to use Microsoft Word, I could be doing my PageMaker homework. That's my new plan. I might not be able to sit there with the book and do those projects, but I can do the self-directed projects, to be sure.

I just feel like a big dummy-head for not figuring this out sooner. I could've put in an hour of lab time today, but was offered a ride home from a guy in my Computing class who likewise finished his quiz in 15 minutes, so I thought that was the better use of my time. Uh-huh, yeah right...so here I am. In future, I'll use the time to do my lab work. That is, unless the bookstore finally orders the Adobe Publishing Collection, so I'll have all this software at home.

As it is, the homework I turned in on Tuesday is not due until next Tuesday, so I'm ahead of the game in both PageMaker and PhotoShop. Now I just need to do my Flash homework (three lessons I missed, bad bad Erica) and at least one of my Word labs and I'll be caught up with my school work for the first time in my life. I'm sure I'll spend most of the weekend trying to figure out a way around being all caught up and efficient. That just ain't right.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

12:39 PM
I am...off to shoot some hoops in the backyard with The Boy. I don't have any homework due tomorrow


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

10:15 PM
I am...according to eMode [bracketed snarky remarks, mine]:

You are an Intellect (That should be "an Intellectual," actually)

If you were one of Charlie's Angels, you'd definitely be Sabrina, the brains behind the operation. Besides the fact that you're well-read [not so much] and have an insatiable desire to learn [definately], you can hold your own in any intellectual sparring match. With a wall full of diplomas [none, actually], or at least a few in the works, your hobbies and interests reflect your intelligence. Whether you're reading the New York Times or catching up on the latest independent film, it's clear that your wheels are always spinning (yep). You probably aced your SATs [nope, though it was in the four digit range on the old SAT], tend to scoff at "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" [even though you know all the answers], and kick butt at Trivial Pursuit. Guys love the challenge of trying to seduce you. Your brainpower drives them crazy, and you're smart enough to know that it puts you in the driver's seat.

Also, according to eMode, my ideal man is a Goofball, and here I was voting for the Artiste. Of course, I still need to learn to work it. I wasted so much time trying to be pretty instead. My bad.

[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

10:15 PM
I am...acutely aware of my oddness, no matter how I've tried to forget it over time.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

10:37 PM
I am...regardless of the other posts today, not going to change my last name when/if I get married. I've been talking with Dorothy about this, as she's been considering the question.

It's funny, I guess, some women still, in this day and age don't even question that it should be done. It never occured to me that I would. First of all, I have a pretty excellent name and, since John Easdale doesn't have any brothers that I know of, it's not like I'm going to win the surname lottery and come out with something better than Jackson.

It's hardly ever misspelled (some people think it should have an "x") and has a great ring to it, given all the famous Jacksons -- Andrew, Stonewall (allegedly a relative and, since he was killed by his own men, I'm prone to believe it), and even Tito. You just try to beat "Jackson," it ain't gonna happen.

If anything, men should be clamoring to take my last name. It's got built-in name recognition.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

10:40 PM
I am...not getting married until Saturday, September 20, 2003, also according to eMode. So, does that mean I have a couple of years of nasty, crazy, gorilla sex in my future? I certainly hope so.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

11:47 PM
I am...apparently, psychicly connected to Kristin. For the third time, I've had a link from a site and then found that link in her journal. The conceited side of me is assured that, instead, she's going to the site she's linked to and from there to my site. Still, it's hilarious to me. What's really amazing is that the hits, in different amounts, go to all of my sites, not just one.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

Wednesday, September 27, 2000

9:50 PM
I am...not a Muslim. Whenever I wear this hat, people ask if I am. I bought it from Spiegel, of all places, back in the day when I had their credit card, because I'd just cut off all my hair and I wasn't used to being bald yet. I thought it had a nice spring look.

Iiiiiiiiiiii...am not a Muslim (Remember Victoria Jackson's 'I am not a bimbo' song on SNL?

What was especially fun was when the Black Muslims at school (as opposed to my Morrocan ex-boyfriend who was a Muslim by religion more than by politics) would presume I was Muslim, too. I'm no big fan of black men who presume to act familiar with me under any circumstances. I don't like to be called "sister" by random strangers on the street because of the color of my skin (as opposed to by people like John, Dorothy's sister Donna or Pete, who know me well enough to "adopt" me).

I have a wall, yes I do and it is built for strangers who might do me harm. I don't presume you're more or less dangerous because you're black, so spare me the "you're a self-hating nigger" and/or "you think you're better than me because you're light-skinned" bullshit guilt trip (funny how I'm "light-skinned" when it's time for a guilt trip, but not "light enough" to be biracial...bullshitters do it both ways). If anything, it's a man thing. I've had violence done to me by men of every color and shade.

Moreover, what kind of moron do you have to be not to realize a woman walking alone will most likely eschew your company or that of any stranger? There is a time and a place to pick up women --- on the street, at midnight in the Tenderloin or Times Square at 2 a.m. are most certainly not it.

Likewise, there is also a time and a place for me to be vigilant and on the streets, in the city (though, oddly, even more so in the 'burbs), at night, no matter how much I love the time and place, is indeed it. As we used to say back in the day, "Doy!" when "duh" just didn't convey the disgust well enough. What is wrong with you to take my instinct for self-preservation as an offense? Honestly! I try to understand, but I just don't get that.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

9:55 PM
I am...now aware of how the expression "The cat's out of the bag" came into existance. The cat loves bags. Adores 'em. Whenever one is left on the floor, he must climb in. The Boy brought him to me in a Trader Joe's bag as I typed the previous post. Both are heap big goofball.

The cat's IN the bag

The Boy and his cat

Peekabo!

[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

Tuesday, September 26, 2000

3:08 PM
I am...a complete lame brain. My Pagemaker homework wasn't due today. Perhaps I have some sort of visual problem, but I looked in my notes and saw 9/26 when I checked over the weekend. I stressed myself the fuck out for nothing. My homework is, instead due Thursday, 9/28, as I clearly saw upon checking my notes after arriving in class this morning - late, flustered and sleepy from getting to campus at 7 to do my lab.

So, exhausted and $27 poorer for the cab ride (preferable to leaving my house before 6 a.m.), I just feel like a big freakity freak freak. That's an almost completely ahead freakity freak freak to you.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

3:24 PM
I am...one lucky bastard. I didn't go to my second class last Thursday. The first class was optional (as long as the assignment was turned in) because of the annual campus dedication ceremony (ah, how I'd forgotten this precious early school year bonus day, sigh). It hardly seemed worth the four-hour commute to attend one two hour class. I thought I could make better use of my time by staying at home and getting more of my labs/homework done and trying to install Word at home (my dad's oldish computer is running out of room with all this fat design software). This whole month has just been the insanity of trying to get organized, work the super-long commute and all the labs and homework into my schedule. I've also been desperately trying to get the bookstore to order the software I need for two weeks, but they don't return my calls. If I had the software, I could do more of my homework at home and not have to try to figure out how to get to this remote campus for my labs because Pagemaker, like the course itself, isn't available on the main campus (except in one lab, only during one professor's limited hours)

I checked the syllabus for my second class when I arrived and realized that I missed a quiz last Thursday. Whoops! There are no make up quizzes. Shit! A few minutes later in lecture, the instructor mentioned that she drops the lowest quiz score (or a 0 for a missed quiz) and that we could even earn extra points by using graphics, humor and just being creative in general on the cover sheets for our lab assignments/homework. Bingo! Come back to mama, you long lost quiz points.

What happened next is typical of the good side of my luck. Eric always said I had the kind of luck, especially with money, that if I were going to be evicted that afternoon, I'd find the exact amount of money I needed on the street or someone would give it to me. He's right, when I'm a big dodo head, things tend to work out so that I at least squeak by. Of course, if I were more organized and disciplined, I'd do a hell of a lot more than squeak by - but old habits, particularly piss-poor ones, die hard.

Although the campus ceremony was scheduled to end by the time my second class started, the instructor had decided to make that class optional, so I didn't miss the quiz after all. So, not only can I earn those extra points for swanky cover sheets, I also still have a chance to do well on the quiz, so those bonus points can make up for my first homework assignment being late. Woohoo!


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

Monday, September 25, 2000

9:22 AM
I am...so terribly behind in Flash. I only have the handout for Lesson 1. We are on Lesson 5. I missed the most important thing -- how to use the fucker. I already knew how to draw a crappy picture in just about any program with drawing tools. At home, I've downloaded Flash 5, which is completely different and which Flash 4 (which we have at school) won't recognize. Hey Macromedia, how about an option to save as Flash 4?

I wish we'd started with Dreamweaver, it's more like common software and far more rudimentary. This month of starting school, commuting to two different cities by bus, trying to arrange child care, and getting back into the swing of school (plus the wedding and trying to get my unemployment extended) has just been insane and I haven't exactly felt up to the challenge. I'm a wuss.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

9:22 AM
I am...not sure what's so friggin' interesting about me that people stare so often. The guy next to me in class kept staring at me and it drives me nuts.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

9:23 AM
I am...really loving this balmy, fall weather. I guess I've mentioned that before, but what a joy it is to walk for 20 minutes without having to stop four times, panting and wheezing. There was even dew on the grass this morning. It's the little things in life, sometimes.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

Sunday, September 24, 2000

12:51 AM
I am...growing so nostalgic in the extreme that 15 weeks ago seems like ancient history. That's a really good entry to remind me of where I'm at chronologically, romantically, spiritually, and all that jazz. I forgot I wrote about E2 by name and in such detail.

A friend a long time ago said I had to start putting my writing out there, but I was always worried it wasn't finished or right or appropriate (apparently, I've lost all those worries!) or whatever excuse I'm feeling that day. "It's like taking a dump," he said. "You just do it and flush it away." That's true enough, I realize now, as I don't remember half of what I say in my journals, until someone quotes me back to me. It creeps me out a bit, but it's my own damned fault.

No matter, as my writing would tend toward autobiography, whether I openly acknowledged it or not. If nothing else, writing for my own sites has helped me prepare for unexpected reactions from readers, for the strange thing that is having my words, out there, by themselves, like children I cannot watch or protect every moment, as I'd like.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

12:55 AM
I am...feeling very much excommunicated. I recognize some of it is my own doing, my mouth -- and now my pen/keyboard -- has always been my downfall. Blessing and a curse, indeed. In this case, however, it's been more of a reaction to the problem, than the problem itself.

Even still, I've spilled no trade secrets (I've utterly no interest in them, after all, they weren't the point for me) -- just stated what was so wrong, wrong, wrong. One would think a company with a 25% turnover rate would be concerned with the reasons why. When the dust settles, it will be too late.

You never know who your real friends are until you're mistreated, shut out and out of the picture.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

2:49 PM
I am...watching The Real World -- Los Angeles. I don't think a wormy, little, insecure, unfunny "comedian" with a lisp should be making fun of anyone. Hello. Glass house. Rocks. Combine.


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

3:54 PM
I am...posting this B.S. instead of an entry again. You'd think I could only get away with that once, right? Sent to me by Jes

1. What time is it? 3:17 pm PST
2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate: Erica Lynne Jackson
3. Nicknames: none
4. How did you meet the person that sent this to you? she reads my online journal
5. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake? 29
6. Date that you regularly blow them out: August 28
7. Pets: cat, Salem (actually belongs to my brother, but he's to rough to the cat, so he comes to my mom and me)
8. Height: 5'8"
9. Eye color: dark brown
10. Hair color: dark brownish black with gray, red and blonde, currently dyed auburn
11. Piercing: ears (2 in each), nose (but I don't wear it much)
12. Tattoos: two...panda w/yin yang markings (Prymal Urge, San Francisco) and woman symbol in the shape of a sunflower (Fun City tattoo, East Village, NYC)
13. How much do you love your job: what job? (copying Jes)
14. Birthplace: Indianapolis, Indiana
15. Hometown: San Francisco was most like home, then New York City
16. Current residence: Riverside, CA
17. Had the drink Calypso Breeze? nope
18. Been in love before? not really (thought I was at the time)
19. Been to Africa? No, but I'd love to go
20. Been toilet papering? no
21. Been drunk? yes, but it's been too long
22. Been toilet papered? no
23. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? Yep
24. Been in a car crash? nope
25. Croutons or Bacon Bits: both
26: 2 door or 4 door: 4 doors (as a former backseat kid w/2 doors)
27. Sprite or 7-Up: either
28. Coffee or coffee ice cream: neither
29. Blanket or stuffed animal: blanket
30. Dumper or dumpee: 20/80
31. What's your favorite salad dressing: Italian, Balsamic vinaigrette, honey mustard
32. Favorite Color of socks: white or black socks (I'm a geek), but preferably none at all
33. Favorite Number: 3
34. Why: It's been so long, I don't remember
35. Favorite place to be kissed? A place I can't mention in polite company. Otherwise, neck and mouth (there are so few great kissers)
36. Movies: Harold & Maude, Willy Wonka
37. Quotes from a movie: anything uttered by Veruca Salt or Maude
38. Junk food: chocolate
39. Health food: spinach salad, broccoli
40. Day of the Week: Saturday
41. Song at the moment: I don't get these kids today...with their music
42. TV Show: Once and Again, because Sela's a hottie
44. Word or phrase: "yo" thanks to Pamie
45. Toothpaste: Mentadent
46. Restaurant: NY: Jony's on 25th, Tea Den for Chinese, Cucina della Fontana for Italian SF: The Pork Store, Thai Noodle, Edinburgh Castle, All You Knead; LA: Claim Jumper and Marie Callendar
47. Flower: gladiolas.
48. Least Favorite Subject: anything with numbers
49. Alcoholic Drink: Rum & Dr. Pepper, strawberry daquieri
50. Sport to watch: none, I hate them all
51. Type of Ice: huh?
52. Zoo Exhibit: Pandas
53. Sesame Street character: Oscar
54. Disney/Warner Brothers: Scrooge McDuck
55. Fast Food restaurant: Sushi Boy in NY, Carl's Jr. and In & Out in California.
56. When was your last hospital visit? when I was born (unless you count visiting other people)
57. Favorite drink? water
58. What color is your bedroom carpet? mauve
60. How many times did you fail your Permit/Driver's License test?: four times, so far
61. What do you think of Ouija Boards? I don't think of them often
62. Where do you see yourself in 10 years: getting off my ass and writing, finally...living on my own farm and making everything from scratch
63. Who is the last person you got mail from before this one? my college roommate Dorothy
64. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? no
65. Which single store would you choose to max out your credit card? Williams-Sonoma
66. What do you do most often when you are bored? touch myself
67. What words or phrases do you overuse? "yo"
68. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the
farthest: Bonni in Sweden (if online friends don't count, either Pete in Hawaii or Rob and James in New York)
69. Most annoying thing is: ignorant people
70. Best thing: open-minded people
71. Bedtime: 2-3 a.m.
72. Who will respond to this the fastest? Don't know, I'm just sending it back to Jes
73. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Jes, since she already did it
74. What time is it now? 3:44 p.m., now you all know that I'm slow


[ link to this ]

+ + +

 

 

 

 

 

Images and text © 2000 Erica Jackson. All rights reserved.
Reproduction without prior permission is prohibited. Respect mah authoratah!
 

 

 

 

Site Meter