I am ...
 
 

 

Reading
I'm The One That I Want by Margaret Cho. I was so disappointed that I couldn't make the book fair at UCLA last weekend with my friend Tracey, so she thought to buy the book for me. I missed the one-woman show when I lived in New York, but Tracey and I went to see the film last fall in Santa Monica. If you want to know how much my friends rock, Tracey even had it autographed:

Erica
Good luck in New York!
-Margaret Cho

. . .

I'm also still reading Simple Indulgence: Easy, Everyday Things to Do for Me by Janet Eastman. I'm such a dork, I keep reading the quotes and ideas, but not doing the journalling portion.

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"..." "Someday we'll find it
the rainbow connection
the lovers, the dreamers and me
alllll of us under it's spell."

-Kermit THE Frog

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Listening
Stuck in my head:
"Boogie-oogie-oogie get down."

Thank you, Disco Stu! (My favorite Simpsons sight gag-cum-character.)

 


I heard Britney Spears' "Bottom of My Broken Heart" while making a selection from the feminine hygeine aisle at Wal Mart and exclaimed, "Fucking Britney Spears...Gah!"

That's one of the videos I had to watch about a million times to select snippets for the web site and the enhanced CD single. Ever hearing it again is too much, too soon.

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Watching
The Simpsons, The Sopranos & Armistead Maupin's Further Tales of the City. I didn't even realize there were making another one, I just happened to see it listed. I'm going to have to finish the book series now, as I think I've only read through the fourth book and this mini-series is based on the third book.
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Webbing

While you're visiting the Gallery of Regrettable Food, don't miss Meat!. This one in particular made me laugh until I couldn't breathe. "Sometimes meat likes to dress up and feel pretty." Swanson Parade of Lost Identity -- women who, in probably their only 15 minutes of fame, were for the most part known only as Mrs. HisLastName.

. . .

Co-Author of The Rules to divorce! So you can't manipulate a man into marrying and staying married to you? Perhaps you have to come into it as two individuals and show who you really are from the beginning? I guess this means that no amount of growing your hair long, pretending not to be smart or funny, and "training" a man will make for a happy marriage.

. . .

Ever wonder where that dollar bill's been? Mine was in Chicago two months ago.

. . .

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Dreamin' is free

Another Elvis dream (I'm doing the Memphis section of my color scrapbook now, but I haven't got to Graceland yet), this one cannibalistic.

What started out as an autopsy to discover THE TRUTH, turned into Elvis Stew. It was rich and beefy. Ewwwwwwwww!

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Thinking
Why is it that the same personality quirks are taken as crazy and stalky by some, while loveably wacky by others? Is there some litmus test for this, so I stop wasting my time?
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What's cookin? now I'm blogging what I'm eating, whoa.
Still literate as of 9/29/2000 12:20:01 AM
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This sucks! just what I needed...another dorkblog.
Jeepers, creepers, I last used my peepers on 9/29/2000 12:24:59 AM
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This rules! My trip photographs, they're better than expected. Now to get them all organized, it's only been a year!

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Friday, August 11, 2000

1:45 AM
I am...all misty-eyed. Between my brother's essay and the letter I received yesterday from my best friend in the 7th grade. Coincidentally, I tried to find Rosie via Switchboard just last week. However, I had no idea where she lived or if she'd still have her last name since the last time we talked she was married.

Then today, in a great big envelope, came the tiniest little letter saying she just wanted to see if either I or my parents still lived here. I can't believe she still has my address. I'm off to send her a card. She's only 15 miles away, so perhaps she'll get the card on Saturday if I mail it first thing in the morning (as if I'll be up). Anyway, it's the best news I've had in a while.
...
off to read Harry Potter 3, Dora got me all sucked in.


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12:05 PM
I am...supposed to be (when I grow up):

# 1 Movie Star
My secret dream exposed!

# 2 Rock Star

Secret dream #2. It's pretty funny to see this here, since John just gave me his guitar. Maybe there's some juice left in the old acoustic yet. I've never played the guitar, by the way, so it's ludicrous that I'd fall right into being a Rock Star.

# 3 Artist

More like artiste. Although one of my favorite things to do when I was a kid was to paint. I wasn't allowed out of the yard until my dad woke up (he worked the graveyard shift and mom worked swing), but I was allowed to go to the garage and paint. I loved my easel!

# 4 Park Ranger

I meant a job where I could go outdoors sometimes, not have to BE outdoors.

# 5 Astronaut

When they said travel, I was thinking of Paris, not Pluto.

# 6 Chef

I'm a great cook, but I hate snooty chefdom.

# 7 Inventor

OK, I can see that. I'm always trying to build a better mousetrap.

# 8 Politician

I did get all these political aspirations when I worked for the Clinton campaign in '92.

# 9 Professional Sports Player

This is so off the mark, I don't know where to start. When I was editor of the school paper, the jocks who took newspaper for an easy A (they covered their own games and the advisor encouraged this), I was reviled because I didn't want the sport section to take up 2 of our 8 pages. I thought 1 page was more than the deserved. I enjoy playing sports, but hate the professional institutions.

# 10 Teacher

OK, I can see that. Except I have no patience and am a terrible teacher.

# 11 Author

Surprised and a bit worried this is so far at the bottom, since it's what I've always wanted to be.

# 12 Graphic Designer

Not much of a background in design, though I'm trying to learn.

# 13 Police Officer

No fucking way.

# 14 Reporter

Makes sense, I wanted to be one at one time.

# 15 Saleman/Saleswoman

I think the former would be impossible, without a little surgery. As for the second...Nope. I couldn't sell ice water to people in hell. I hate the unctuous thing.

# 16 Web Designer

I'm a little surprised and saddened to see that this came in so low, since that's what I'm trying to establish myself in right now. Please don't tell my first client, OK? Now I feel like a fool for having three web sites.

# 17 Chemist
# 18 Doctor
# 19 Engineer

I have a genius-level IQ in all things language-related. Since I was always tracked into gifted math courses along with the rest of the gifted students, I always thought I was a math moron because I struggled to get Cs while my parents and teachers lectured me about not applying myself. My dad, in one of his most surreal moments, even threatened to throw me in juvenile hall if I flunked Algebra, which I was taking a year early. When I turned 18, I ordered my gifted test scores, my gut instinct was confirmed. Turns out, I'm just 10% above average in math (my verbal IQ is about 50 points higher). Average or no, I hate the merest thought of anything that would require me to do more time in the math department.

# 20 FBI Agent

I don't know about this one. On the one hand, I'd be coplike, no thanks. However, I have always enjoyed having behind the scenes knowlege, going backstage at concerts and the like because I like knowing what's going on, knowing exclusive information.

# 21 Geneticist

See #17-19.

# 22 Lawyer

I thought this would've ranked higher, since it's something I almost pursued at one point and have been rethinking ever since.

# 23 Mathemetician

See #17-19 & 21.

# 24 Researcher

Can definately see this. I love doing research, except that, like the dictionary reading thing, I end up reading off on tangents. Not that I mind, but it won't get the work done as quickly. Also, I did horribly in Statistics. It's a math, thang.

# 25 Computer Game Programmer

Makes sense, no real interest there.

according to this job quiz thingy, found in Pamie's forum.


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8:10 PM
I am...irritated. Please learn your lesson from me. DO NOT use Bigmailbox for your own, personal, web-based mail for your domain. A month or so ago, they started putting ads in my email footers. If I wanted someone else's ad within my email, I'd use Hotmail. Instead, I bought my own domains, so I could have MY OWN NAME on my outgoing emails. I own the shit, OK?

It looks like they got a shitload of complaints and probably people pulling their accounts, because they stopped doing that a few weeks ago.

This evening they changed the set up so that when you log in, you go straight to a page full of ads, in addition to the banners that run across the top and under the left-hand navigation. OK, I could even accept that, though it's annoying not to go straight to the in box. What really kills me is that now they are mass-emailing all users. So far, I've deleted this message on about 6 accounts spread among my four domains. There are probably twice that many more left to delete on accounts I don't use as frequently. I don't know if they plan to do this daily, weekly, or monthly, but I don't look forward to deleting it 18 times whenever they decide to send it.

I've put off changing over my MX records because, though I was told there was a program for transferring the hundreds and hundreds of messages stored in my accounts, there is no such thing. I either have to save them in text/Word files or forward them to an intermediate account. Wish I'd never fallen for their bullshit lies, but I didn't know how else to access my domain mail when I didn't have a computer of my own. Luckily, I'mErica Online and John's site don't have a great deal of mail yet, Some Crazy Dame probably doesn't either. But EricaJackson.com, holy shit. The two meg account for Erica is 84% full, as is the lists account. I've just started using herself, but it's probably close to half full. This is going to be a long-term project. I wish I could just snatch away four domains at once with a nasty letter, but it will take quite a while to back up the smaller accounts, let alone the EricaJackson ones. DOH


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Thursday, August 10, 2000

8:08 PM
I am...not a groupie.

Oy, how I hate the G-word. I first befriended my favorite band when I was a sophomore in high school, not long after Pamela Des Barres' book I'm With the Band came out. Someone thought it was cute to give to me as a gift. Boy, did the rumors fly. Even my Spanish teacher, then my favorite, said "well, what do you expect when you hang around rock bands?" Who was I supposed to hang out with? People at school who treated me like shit or a bunch of big brothers who adored me and encouraged my dreams. The basic premise was that the band couldn't be interested in me unless I was sleeping with them. It's sad that's the way people's minds work.

I befriended another Jersey band when I moved to NY a few years ago and some of their friends started all sorts of rumors about me because I went to most of their shows. This was my second favorite band since I was 15. I couldn't see them play for years and years, so, when I moved to NY I was glad to be able to see them play regularly. In that case, I suspect they had a problem with my race as much as my sex, (ignorant comments about both were frequent) but the gist was that a woman going to the shows frequently was a "groupie," while it was OK for men to go to every show, because they were there for the music. Gee, why didn't I think of that? I just go to concerts because I like to fuck guys with guitars, right? Not thus far.


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9:54 PM
I am...a big sister. It's my job to take care of my little brother after school and make sure he gets his homework done correctly everyday. The other day he had to write an essay. It was the second part of an assignment he started by interviewing me on Monday.

The essay was about the person he most admired. Although he admired many people, he said I am the person he admired the most. He cited my love of computers, reading, writing and Star Wars as well as the fact that I've lived in interesting places (San Francisco and New York) and had interesting jobs (the last at a record company) as reasons he admired me.

How fucking cute is that?!


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Tuesday, August 08, 2000

10:44 PM
I am...feeling like a proud journal grandma. One of my loyal readers just started her own online journal. Check it out.


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10:58 PM
I am...Still exhausted, drained and not feeling very creative. I'm all foggy-headed and it sucks.
...
People keep asking what the highlight of my trip was. I diplomatically answered that all of it was wonderful. However, as I picked pictures to send to Fang last night, I realize it obviously was New Orleans. I sent her about 8 pictures of NOLA and 1 of Memphis and that's it.
...
Speaking of my trip, the highlight of my day was finally receiving one of the boxes I left at my grandma's house. It not only had all my film, but also my Jive bag. I love this bag, it's a bike messenger bag. I was just about to buy myself one and the company gave them to us for Christmas. Of course, in my hatred of advertising, I'm looking for my "Girls kick ass" patch to put over it. That'll scare off wussy-ass woman-haters.
...
You know how I said there were about 10 rolls of film from DC? There are 17. Granted, several of those are from before I left NY. I took a roll or two of B&W film in NY before I left. I just dropped off 10 rolls on Sunday, so this will be another $150 in film dev and I'll be gone. I decided to just spring for the pictures on CD rom because it will take me a year to scan in the 42 rolls otherwise.


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11:48 PM
I am...so in love with my CD burner. I've thought about it for a long time, waited patiently as the prices came down, comparison shopped online and off until Sunday when I had to get it, period. Who knew Wal Mart carried such things? I may get more CDs and some jewel-tone jewel cases when I pick up my pictures at Wal Mart tomorrow night.

Now that I have it, I'm addicted. At the very least, I wanted a more stable medium on which to keep my digital photos, which are growing at an incredible rate. Also, sometimes my splash pages are too big for even Zip disks while I'm working on them.

Also, it's great now that I can make mix CDs. I want to make one with all my favorite soul songs to sing along with, instead of switching from disk to disk. If I'd had it before my trip, I would've taken my CD player instead of the tiny little radio that, far from tapping me into the Voice of America, hardly ever worked.


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Monday, August 07, 2000

2:16 AM
I am...so exhausted, still. Maybe it has to do with newness in Bleed. I had started thinking it was a loss of interest in writing, my creative fire burning out. It didn't help that Dora seemed to feel the same way. I thought maybe it was in the air, that I had nothing to say. As I told her, I must remind myself that writing, reproduction and all creative endeavors ebb and flow. Right now, my energy must be self-directed. I'm taking better care of myself and that means I have less time for certain other things. I've been in this love affair with design of late and so I'm sure design will understand if I take a few days off to recharge. I'm already feeling more myself, so more will come sooner, rather than later.


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Images and text © 2000 Erica Jackson. All rights reserved.
Reproduction without prior permission is prohibited. Respect mah authoratah!
 

 

 

 

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