I am...a New Yorker

[Previous entry: "Savoring This"]

Tuesday, September 10, 2002
Getting It

As you can clearly see.

Some funky fish salads/schmears.

A little green around the gills.

Black embroidered duster vest with crepe pants.

A bit of privacy.


How thankful I am for this most recent, difficult, year. It was ultimately one of renewal for me and for my city.

For peace, wisdom and hope for us all.

I am...taking in the developments of the past few weeks. Dorothy put it best, "Did you take some 'turn my life around pills' a couple of months ago or what?!"

I have to say that tends to be the pattern of my life. Things go bad and I don't know what to do about them for some time. That can lead to my feeling uncertain and even a bit depressed.

As that down time begins to subside, I formulate a plan to fix what's bothering me and improve my life in some significant way. I work hard for several months. Although the benefits seem to hit all at once, the road was far longer and more complicated than it looks in hindsight.

. . .

I'd intended only to make a few friends and perhaps date a few people this summer. I had decided the whole Mr. Right thing was a load of fairy tale bunk and I was just going to have a good social life after all those months of all work and no play making Erica a very dull woman.

I still stand by the fairy tale assertion, but that doesn't mean there aren't wonderful people out there who enrich our lives in unique ways. It doesn't have to be anchored on promises of forever to be caring or significant.

I wasn't looking for someone special, in any way. Yet somehow, that's exactly what I found, in spite of myself. I don't want to get ahead of things, I don't want to get all heavy. I am just appreciating it. For the first time, I'm seeing someone who sees me.

You could knock me over with a feather when he thanks me for being there during some recent bumpy patches. The tenderness and all the small, sweet things he says and does are almost unreal. Yet they ring true and heartfelt. I could get used to this, though I'm thankful for what it has allowed me to experience, no matter what tomorrow may bring.

. . .

Photos in my cube/office
It's wonderful to have my own photos framed at work, to be able to take some pride in the area.

The job continues to go well. The boss is impressed and we're developing a very good rapport. People are so friendly and caring, I think I finally picked a winner. If I'm still there at 5:15, my boss tells me, "Get out of here...go home!" There will be busy times, but every day is not crazy-busy, just to get the basics done.

Everyday I express my thanks for being able to support myself, but still have time to explore and enjoy this city I'm so in love with. I moved 3,000 miles (twice!) from everyone and everything I know and love to be here, not to be in an office 12-20 hours a day. It took a good 9 months of job hunting in this economy, but the end result is wonderful.

It is such a difference, now that my body and mind have the time and resources to repair and replenish. I'm only sleeping half as much, but I have plenty of energy, stamina and enthusiasm to get through the day. I am just so thankful for this.

. . .

South end of Jefferson Market Library
South end of Jefferson Market Library

Flags in East Midtown
Flags in East Midtown. The Empire State building is washed out of the photo, it would be in the bright area on the right side.

[Next entry: "Thankful, Thoughtful"]
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