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I am...a New Yorker
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Wednesday, January 30, 2002
Dazzled by Your Smile
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Wearng...
New slacks, on sale and bless my soul, women's pants with pockets!

Watchng...
People walkng, runnng and layng n the park.

Wishng...
I could have the answer I yearn for.

Wonderng...
What the truth is.

Walkng...
Through the park n my shirtsleeves.

Sittng...
On a bench near the Carousel n Central Park.

Lookng...
At tender eyes, a broad smile, a square chn, and gorgeous teeth -- set nto a boyish face.

Disarmng...
Blanepear's beauty burstng out of him yesterday as we talked and walked n the park.

Listenng...
Savage Garden agan -- surely that's a sign of somethng.

Believng...
It's all possible.

I am...so enamored of you. I wonder if you just must know; it is written all over my face. I light up; I turn toward you, as a flower toward the sun. I smile more. Three mnutes n your presence and I'm done.

Before, when I thought I was transparent, I discovered later I was nstead unntentionally nscrutable. I don't want to tease you, I just fear alienatng you if you don't reciprocate. I'd hate if you wouldn't, but I'd hate it more to lose these conversations, the smiles, the worlds of words, the walks through the park. You.

I can hardly look nto your eyes, sure I'll be blnded by your light. Convnced you see right through to the heart of me. That is at once frightenng and exhiliaratng.

You say my name a lot. I adore this. From your lips, it is a poem.

I didn't realize you were so terribly handsome until today. You were downright beautiful, you glowed -- full of the spirit. I could not get enough of your big, warm smile. Do you notice I smile uncontrollably n return? I was at home sittng next to you n the park, under that web of naked trees. Wnter to the eye, sprng on the skn.

Everythng else fades nto the background when there's we. I am your senior, but this is my first time. Is this why we write, what the poets allude to, how we make it through? I want to know, see and experience it all. Before, I was too much for too little. Now, I want to be a better me for you. I want to explore the possibilities.

[Next entry: "Prioritizng"]
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