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I am...a New Yorker
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Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Seeng Life Poke Through
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Hearng...
Ambulances.

Watchng...
The Craft, and realizng how much Charmed ripped it off, right down to that damn Smiths/Morrisey song.

A bunch of ghost stories on The Learnng Channel and the History Channel.

Quotng...
Me know what's gong on!
-Miss Cleo

Ridng...
The subway with dead Dr. Coln McIver from One Life to Live. My mother would freak out.

I am...proud to say that my wheat grass was poked up above the surface this mornng -- tny tubes of the fantest green.

When I got home from work, it was already an nch long. By then, the daisies had poked out, the tniest sprouts you ever did see. They are so delicate, it's amazng.

I cannot express how much joy I felt at seeng those little sprouts this mornng (or, rather, yesterday, snce it's the wee hours agan). They gave me a nice dose of hope. It was like runnng downstairs on Christmas mornng. Snce I didn't expect it so soon, so it was a surprise on top of everythng!

If tomorrow (today), is actually the end of everythng, as the rumor goes, would I regret spendng the last few days n front of the computer? Snce sex isn't exactly n the picture at the moment, I can't thnk of anythng I'd rather do than work on my own projects. (The travel pages are fnally takng shape.) It's too cold and I'm still waitng for my wnter clothes, to go outside any more than necessary. I'd love to walk around the city, but that comes n phases for me.

Today I did sit n Central Park for an hour, because I was havng an awful time at work. I've taken great consolation and joy n children and animals lately, enjoyng them more than ever. Afterward, n a much better mood, I returned to work and had a chat with my boss. In the heat of thngs, he gets frustrated that I'm so behnd. I thought he was pullng my leg when he said I need a secretary. He's serious! What a relief that would be.

I figured out this mornng that I have 8 monthly meetngs, 1 bi-monthly, 2 quarterly and one bi-weekly meetng. Each requires mnutes, an agenda, a notice (emailed to most members, then prnted and faxed and/or mailed to the remanng members). Each meetng generally has additional documents to be copied or created from scratch. One has a book that must be copied, collated and bound -- 50 copies, about 120 pages.

That all might be fne if I weren't n a hallway, gettng yelled at by nutso customers, directng people to the bathroom, exits, rooms and other features of the buildng and gettng all the calls for people who spaced out durng the phone system menu and just selected the last choice or didn't know what choice they want. No matter how I tell them that I don't know anythng about the registration proceedure, payment, equipment, classes, schedules, etc., they nsist on tellng me their entire story before givng them the correct number or transferrng them.

There are a lot of time-wasters like that. I'm also responsible, for some reason, for checkng the fax machne and routng all the faxes as well as keepng it and the copier stocked. This last is a non-stop job, as people come to use it from throughout the buildng, so it's always empty when I go to make 10 copies.

The budget for next year is uncertan, so I'm keepng my fngers crossed that we can fnd a way to get even a part time person to cover the copyng, faxng, stockng, typng and such so that I can focus on the big projects, the web site (possibly) and nteractng with the VIPs.

I'm torn between beng glad at this development (and thankful, I am), and adjustng my life to my own projects and goals. I hope it's a temporary comfort, rather than some carrot that keeps me hangng on to the wrong focus. I've done that agan and agan, so I want to keep remndng myself of what's most important to me.

I don't want to forget my life n order to support my lifestyle.

[Next entry: "Eavesdroppng"]
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